Blindfolded Reality
by yas-m
Summary: Set during season 3, Kate and Sawyer escape from The Others but the survivors' attempts to rescue Jack all fail. Months later, everyone had given up. Everyone except for one person, Kate.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Blindfolded Reality  
**Summary**: Set sometime in S3. Sawyer and Kate return to the beach camp, but the rescue mission to get Jack fails.

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Nights on the island had always been scary, gloomy and sinister, with the Smoke Monster howling in the jungle and the dark ocean thrashing heavy, angry waves one the beach. But ever since they returned from their mission to rescue Jack, ever since they returned without Jack, nights seemed to get even scarier. Somehow, they grew even darker, the Smoke Monster sounded closer to camp than he ever did before and the water grew angrier. She thought maybe it was. Maybe the island was angry at them, at her, for failing Jack. He would have never gave up on one of them, but somehow, they did. They just stopped looking for him and went on with their lives. _Live together, die alone_. That was Jack's motto from day one, and she had hoped that belief permeated with everyone else, but she was wrong.

She was just as bad as everyone else. She did attempt to go out on her solo rescue missions a few times but she also returned without finding a trace of him, of any of them. It was as though the Others never even existed on the island. It was on nights such as this, after spending days alone on the beach, and nights spent without sleep, sitting outside the tent, staring back at the ocean, daring it come closer, that her mind started playing tricks on her. _Maybe The Others never existed, maybe it had all been a figment of her imagination..._ The island was a crazy place, after all, it could have been her mind playing tricks on her all that time. Maybe none of what she thought had happened actually happened.

_Maybe Jack never existed in the first place._

A cold shudder ran through her spine at that thought. A whimper escaped her lips that she would even consider. But the rest of the survivors had been acting like it was true, never mentioning his name, never talking about him or remembering him.

But she knew the truth, of course she did. She still remembers everything, every single detail of it, from the standard black stitches, to how to count to five, from golf tournaments and firelight dinners to running from smoke monsters and blowing up hatches. She remembered just how soft and warm his lips felt against hers.

The cold wind drove past her quickly, fighting against the small fire she had built, her only source of light and warmth in the ominous night. She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself, pulling the shirt closer to her body. It was one of his shirts that she wore. It had become a habit of hers, wearing his shirts, spending her time in his tent, clinging to anything that was his, anything that proved that he once lived amongst them. She wore his shirts every evening, when she was sure the others had gone to bed. She would wrap it around her body tightly, searching for his smell in the fabric. It was her lifeline, holding onto him in the few ways she knew how.

She pulled her legs against her chest, resting her cheek against her knees. She looked away from camp, away from the few small fires scattered along the beach and towards the tree line, where the heavy tangled foliage met the bare golden sands. She sat silently, listening to the occasional crash of waves and the faint murmurs of horror from the depths of the jungle. Neither scared her anymore. Where these horrific elements used to plant fear inside her months ago, she had developed immunity, instead, that fear was replaced by a larger one. That she might never see Jack again.

She swallowed, fighting against the tear provoking thought and focusing on the swaying branches along the tree line. She had spent most of her time in this spot the last few months. She left to fulfill her chores; picking fruits, helping in the kitchen, collecting fire wood. She avoided interacting with the others as best as she could. She occasionally talked with Claire and Sun, mostly when they initiated conversation or came to sit next to her, but for the most part she kept to herself. She missed those friendships, the carefree afternoons playing poker with Hurley and Sawyer or babysitting Aaron while Claire and Charlie took off for a picnic. But for the most part, she missed Jack more.

She was drowning in those memories, her mind sailing miles away, she failed to hear the footsteps reaching her side. And when he spoke, his voice ringing through the heavy silence of the night, she jumped back, completely startled.

"I think this shirt is mine," he said.

She gasped, utterly shocked and whispered, her voice hoarse and shaking, "Jack?".

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So anyone interested in reading the rest? I've got 2 or 3 chapters for this, just let me know


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It was dark, very dark, and the light that the fire provided was faint. Despite those hindering elements, she knew it was him. He seemed thinner, his usually broad frame seemed leaner, but she had no doubt it was him.

"Ja…Jack?" she whispered, her voice choking, and before she knew it she was up on her feet. She heard him whisper, "yeah," low and deep and with that she launched herself into him. She threw herself into him, causing him to fall back a few steps, and wrapped her arms around his neck. It was forceful, shocking, but she let out a sigh of relief when she felt his arm wrap around her waist.

"I am so sorry," she started mumbling into his shirt, "we searched everywhere. I am so sorry," she cried, and before she knew it, her tears had began to flow. He squeezed her tightly, and she hugged him just as fiercely. It was a few moments later, her string of apologies never ending, when he pulled back. He pulled back, the dim light giving him just enough to make her face, her bright green eyes red and watery looking up at him. He smiled, kept the distance small between them and his hands rested on her arms, his thumbs rubbing her skin softly.

She was ready to start apologizing again when he pulled her to him. Where the first hug was fierce and strong, this was soft and gentle. He held her softly, his face buried in her neck, one of his hands in her soft curls, the other holding tight to her waist. she melted into him then, let him engulf her and rested her heel against his best, feeling his heart beating against her skin.

It felt like hours before he let her go, still smiling and she spoke again, "we looked everywhere for you, Jack, we couldn't find you."

They sat back down next to the fire. "What happened to you? Where did they take you?" she asked him. But before he could answer, she had the urge to apologize again. She still could not fathom how after months, after almost everyone had given up, he had just walked into camp. "It's ok, it's ok," he said, chuckling slightly.

"After you and Sawyer left, they kept me in the cags for a few days and then we moved back to their compound," he explained. "We went there, those yellow houses, right?" she asked and he nodded. "There was no one there," she said.

"I know," he said, "they were there for only a few days before they all packed up and left. They went to a place they called The Temple."

" The Temple?" she asked, "we hiked every corner of this island, we didn't find any temple," she said.

"I'm not surprised," he said, "it's a very secret place that only one of them knew the way to get to," he explained, "it's very well hidden."

"And that's where you've been the whole time?" she asked, "what did they want from you?"

"Yea, they kept me locked up there all this time... First I was there to observe Ben's progress, but then... Nothing. They just kept me in that little room," he said, shaking his head.

"And now they just let you go?" She wondered.

"About five days ago, Ben walks into where they were keeping me and says they are letting me go. They blindfold me, cuff me and walk me out. We walked almost half a day until we reached a part of the island I had never seen before. They uncuffed me and tell me to go and never to try to find them," he explained.

"Five days ago?" She asked shockedly.

"I think so... I've been trekking back since. I don't have your tracking skills," he chuckled, "so I think I might have taken a wrong turn... or two."

She felt herself smile too, for the first time in months; it was good to have him back, to hear his laugh again. But she knew it shouldn't be that easy. She could still barely believe it, that after months of searching, after months of shattered hopes and heartache, he was just sitting next to her, chatting casually. She wanted to pinch herself, to wake herself up from this surreal dream. But she knew it was. The feel of his skin against hers as he held her still sent tingles through her body, his touch, his smell, it all came back to her the moment his arms held her to him.

"You must be tired," she said softly, after a moment of silence.

His head bobbed, "Very," he whispered.

"Your tent is still where you left it. You should get some rest," she said.

He nodded, pushing himself of the sand, wiping the remnants off his jeans.

"Thanks, Kate," he said before heading off.

"For what?" She asked. She had done nothing. He just walked into camp and found her there.

He thought for a moment and then just shrugged. He had thought about this the whole time he was there; getting out and going back 'home'. He had thought of how it would be, the many scenarios that could take form. He had worried they were rescued without him, or that they would not trust his sudden return, accuse of him of changing sides... But this had been perfect, coming back to find everyone asleep and just Kate awake, spending some time with her sitting on the beach... It felt like old times, like nothing had happened. That was the one thing he had longed for, wished to return to and it happened.

"Good night," he whispered softly and set towards his tent.

"Jack, wait," she called after him.

"What?" He quickly asked.

"Your shirt..." She said, starting to peel it off of her.

He laughed, "You keep it. Looks better on you anyway," he said.

He walked slowly towards his tent, not looking back. It felt good being back home. It felt good to have had that quiet, private return. He knew the next day wouldn't be the same, not with everyone else finding out, not with the questions that were to come. He also knew the next day won't be easy with Kate either, not as easy as they just were. He still could not erase the visions of her wrapped in Sawyer's arms. For all he knew, she was heading into his tent just then.

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nothing earth shattering, I know. I had such a hard time writing this. I promise next one will be better ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Morning came quickly, too quickly, and Jack knew soon enough he would have to leave the confines and privacy of his tent and step out to face the swarm of questions, questions he already knew he had no answer to. He knew he would not get any sleep despite how tired he had been.

He had left Kate and walked back to the tent, lay on the make shift bed and watched the events of the past months replay in his mind on a loop. The truth was, he had not had a full night's sleep since they crashed on the island. The first few months it was his choice, opting to stay up most nights to keep a watch on everyone, making sure nothing happened. And after the Others took, sleep just failed to come to him. The first weeks he spent in anger. Angry at Michael, angry at the Others and angry at himself for leading Kate and Sawyer into captivity. He worried about them; about her, where she was being kept and how she was being treated. For the few nights he spent in the cage after Kate and Sawyer's escape, he spent the nights wallowing in his own misery, his heartbreak, for losing the one thing he never honestly admitted he desired. She was gone and she was Sawyer's; he needed to make his peace with that. His thoughts soon transformed into plans and schemes as to how escape. As soon as they relocated to the temple, he started studying his surrounding, trying to figure out how he could escape. He maintained some hope that his friends would at least try to rescue him, but he never held it against them when they did not show up. He knew the dangers, the threats that the island and the Others presented, and he also knew that by being relocated to this mysterious location, chances were they could not if they tried.

It was around the same time that he had given up hope that he would ever leave his cell, that the thoughts that haunted his sleepless night shifted from nightmares of agony and despair to fantasies and dreams of her. If he was going to spend the rest of this life locked up in a cell then he would allow his mind to wonder into forbidden territories. It was during those nights that he felt himself falling more and more in love with her, and it was during those nights that he vowed if he ever, by some miracle, escaped his captivity, he would tell her how he felt, even if she did not feel the same way about him, even if she had chosen Sawyer. He would imagine the many ways that those conversations could take place. He would draw scenarios of how his return to the beach would be.

He knew the reality of it would never be as he had imagined, but to his relief, it went better than the worst case scenario he had feared. It was not the romantic gesture he's fantasized about, but it was not as awkward as he would have feared. The moment she wrapped her arms around him, the moment he had her in his arms, her soft body pressed against his, the scent of her filling his soul, all he cared about was being back, being next to her, even if it meant just sitting by the fire and listening to the ocean.

He was lost in his thoughts when he shuffling outside his tent, sending him quickly into an upright position, an instinct he developed as a captive. He sat up and tried to inconspicuously peak outside through the flaps when he the lower part moved slightly and a small blond head poked through. He chuckled heartily, "Aaron," he said delightfully and the ten month old looked up at him and smiled, two front teeth standing proudly in his wide smile. "Look at you! You're so big now," Jack said and watched as the infant crawled confidently towards him. He had changed so much, obviously, in the last eight months and Jack was happy to see that he seemed healthy, a big baby boy who was crawling quite securely. Once he reached Jack, Aaron lay his small hands on Jack's knees and rose up, standing shakily on two feet as he supported himself on Jack. "Wow, you've really grown so much," Jack whispered, looking down to see two big blue eyes staring up at him happily. He brushed his fingers over the boy's soft hair, "I'm Jack, remember me?" he cooed and Aaron's smile widened, "Dack," he mumbled in baby talk.

Jack's smile grew even wider and he witnessed as Aaron started walking slowly along the length of his make shift bed, the whole time holding on the side to stay steady. He would go to the end, look up at Jack and give him another toothy smile before setting back in the other direction and coming back to stand in front of Jack. It was on the third or forth trip along the bed that Jack realized the infant had came crawling into his tent without his mother, but before he could take him in his arms and venture outside looking for him, her voice came from outside, "Aaron? Aaron where are you?"

She ducked into the tent where his little crawl mark stopped without bothering to check whose tent it was. Everyone on the beach had grown accustomed to Aaron randomly barging in and so Claire had become used herself to grabbing him from random tents every morning. "There you are!" she said once she saw him inside, "I turn away for one second and he just bolts off, I am so sorry, "she said as she turned to apologize to whoever the owner of the tent was, "hope he didn't wake you up… Jack… Jack?" she realized, her eyes widening in shock and she put her son back down.

Jack smiled softly, "hi Claire," he said and watched as the young woman who usually never missed a beat stare at him speechless. "How… when… when did you get back?" she finally asked.

"Last night," he said, and when she shook her head he added, "it was late, everyone had gone to bed."

She nodded slowly, her lips forming into a silent, 'oh'.

"Does anyone else know your back?" she asked, picking up the now restless Aaron and sitting down next to Jack.

"Kate… she was still up when I got back," he explained, smiling as Aaron left his mother's arms and crawled onto Jack's lap. Jack held him securely against his chest, and the little boy watched the two adults converse.

Claire smiled, "oh thank God! She knows you're back!" she expressed delightfully, "she has not been the same since she came back and especially since Sayid said they should stop looking for you," she explained. She had been worried about Kate, as had everyone else. Kate had pulled away from the rest of the group completely, keeping to herself, spending nights awake, watching the ocean. She barely slept, barely ate and barely spoke to anyone. "It's good that you're back, hopefully that'll bring the old Kate back too," she added wistfully.

They sat silently then, Claire just taking in the fact that their leader, the man they had all lost hope of ever seeing again was sitting next to her, and Jack considering what Claire had just told him. Aaron watched them for a while but soon grew restless, he poked a chubby little finger into Jack's chest, catching his attention and he smiled again, "Dack!" he said proudly. Both Jack and Claire chuckled, "yeah, that's Jack," Claire cooed. She picked her son up and got up. "What do you say we go get some breakfast?" she offered. Jack thought about for a short moment. He had to come out of his tent eventually. If everyone was going to react as Claire had to his return, then he had nothing to worry about. But if he knew his fellow castaways, it was not going to be that easy. He was expecting at least Sayid and Locke to have some questions. A part of him would welcome it from Sayid, knowing that his friend would always have his inquisitive mind, not letting anything go unquestioned, a characteristic much needed in their situation. And he hoped that in his absence Sayid had picked up and taken charge of the group. He was one of the very few people he trusted to keep hem safe. He took a deep breath and looked up at Claire and Aaron, "let's do this," he said and lifted himself off the bed. Once he was standing next to her, Claire reached up and wrapped an arm around his neck, "it's good to have you back, Jack," she said sweetly.

"It's good to be back," he replied, returning her soft hug.

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Hope you guys are still enjoying this. This was a Jack centric chapter obviously. Next up is Kate. And There's maybe one or two max after that. If anyone has any requests as to what they want happening next, let me know. I'm very flexible with this fic :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Looks like the rumors are true," Sawyer smirked as he walked up to her. Kate was standing by her tent, on the edge of camp, watching as celebrations for Jack's return started to break out. She had watched as he left his tent with Claire and Aaron and headed towards the kitchen. There, the rest of the survivors slowly started getting up for breakfast only to find their lost leader had returned.

"Aren't you going to join the festivities?" Sawyer said, nudging her shoulder gently. Their relationship had gone through a lot but eventually they reached a place where they could call each other friends. She knew she had hurt him, led him, when she slept with him for all the wrong reasons. But with all the turmoil and madness of the last few months, they both learned to move past those feelings and accept the valuable friendship they had.

"Maybe later," she admitted, looking up at him with a small smile.

"Are you serious?" He said in disbelief, "it's literally the one thing you've been waiting for the last six months, and now you are just going to stand here?"

"I saw him last night," she admitted.

"You did? He came back last night? How did he escape? What happened to –", Sawyer started before he was cut off by Kate shrugging her shoulders, "A lot happened to him Sawyer. He told me a very short story of what happened but I know him, he is keeping a lot to himself," she admitted.

"So, again, why aren't you there? Joining the party?" He prodded again. For months, he'd believed that if Jack ever returned, that would finally bring back the old Kate, the Kate who was so full of life.

Kate continued to watch the scene for moment, watched as Jack embraced Sun and Jin. She took a moment before turning to Sawyer, "it was nice, when he came back last night, we sat down and talked, just like we used to," she said softly, "it was great, actually. I woke up this morning and part of me was convinced it was all a dream. Because I've wanted it to happen for so long, part of me refused to believe it."

Sawyer watched her, not exactly understanding what she was getting at. "But it is real, he is back," she continued, "I've dreamt of this every single day since we got back, Sawyer, and now… I'm not sure what happens now," she confessed.

Sawyer watched her for a few moments. He could not believe what he was going to say next. "Now? Now you be honest with him. You tell him whatever you've been dying to tell him for months. It's a second chance you have here, Kate. Don't blow it because… because whatever twisted ways that head of yours works," he said, his smile telling her he was not trying to be mean or malicious.

With a tight smile on her lips, she nodded. "Alright then, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go there myself. Wanna join?" he asked.

"I'll be right behind you," she said appreciatively.

Kate smiled when the polite handshake between the two men developed into a warm hug. _Now if only she could find the strength to go there too._

The celebrations had calmed down into a communal breakfast by the time Kate decided to join her friends. Everyone was gathered in a circle, eating and chatting, mostly directing question after question at Jack, who was trying his best to keep up.

She walked towards the gathering timidly. Jack wasn't the only one who'd been away from such gatherings. Kate's self declared isolation had meant that she had not interacted with most of these people for months as well. There were a few whispered murmurs, a few astonished looks towards her before Sun spoke up, "Good morning, Kate! Come join us," her friend said with a genuine smile, motioning to the group to shift and make space for Kate.

Her gaze fell on Jack and he was watching her too, only unlike everyone else, he was smiling softly, squinting in the morning sun, her eyes never left her. Whether purposefully or not, the way they all shifted, meant that the open seat available was the one next to Jack. She smiled back at him as she sat down, carefully keeping a few inches between them, unlike the previous evening.

"I saw you hanging around your tent earlier. I thought I'd said something last night to upset you," he whispered to her.

Her head shot up, looking at him wide eyed, she shook her head, "No, no, it's just…" she started to explain before she heard him chuckle softly. "It's ok," he said, "I know," he nodded, silently admitting that he knew what she might be going through.

Jack went back to politely answering everyone's questions, while Kate looked around her, reacquainting herself with the friendly faces around her. She did not fail to notice Sayid, although obviously happy to see Jack, she did not miss the slight inquisitiveness in his gaze. She knew he will be asking Jack to a private chat when the group dispersed.

She continued to sit there silently, glancing at him sideways when the others were asking him questions, gauging his reaction and watching him closely as he relayed his answers. He was answering everyone the best he could, she could see that. But she knew him all too well to know he was keeping a lot hidden, often squirming in his seat slightly at a question, despite his polite smiles. But he was tired, and everyone could see that. So slowly, they started to break up their gathering. Some of them just smiled and left while others came over and gave him a warmer greeting. Sawyer was one of the last to leave, giving Jack a friendly pat on the shoulder and a knowing nod at Kate.

She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat and started to get up. She suddenly needed to leave before it was only the two of them left. Sawyer's nod giving her the opposite result than what he had intended. He was watching Sayid walk towards him when he felt her stir next to him. He had been watching her that whole time. He noticed how quiet she had been, noticed her watching him and also noticed how she was avoiding any direct eye contact. He was not sure why, or maybe he had some inkling. And he also noticed how she had not been sitting next to Sawyer. He had come to decision in the last few hours. He was not going to let her run away. _Not this time._

He grabbed her wrist quickly, gently yet firmly, with enough purpose and whispered, "_Please,_ don't leave just yet."

Sayid smiled tightly at him, "it's good to have you back, Jack," he said, "there's a lot to catch up on," he said, putting it as politely as possible. He glanced towards Kate before he added, "later."

His grip on her wrist had loosened, giving her the choice whether to stay or leave. But he hadn't removed it, holding gently to her, his thumb absentmindedly tracing circles over her skin as he talked to Sayid. She watched him then, his features calm and gentle, and when she moved her arm then it was not to retract it from his grasp but rather to slip her hand into his. His gaze dropped in surprise towards their clasped hands and he smiled despite himself. He promised Sayid to go see him in a few hours turned towards her.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze, "there's something I need to tell you," he said with a cracking voice.

She nodded nervously and let him lead her to a quieter part of camp.

**TBC**

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I am so sorry I have not updated in a couple of months. I know I have a couple of fics that I seem to be taking so long to update but I have just been feeling so _meh_ lately when it comes to my writing. I don't know why. I've got one more chapter for this which I promise will be better than this atrocity. Please bear with me and forgive me

And if there's anyone here who is still interested in Sins of the Father, I PROMISE that it is completely planned out. All 23 chapters, with every single detail, but I just need that kick in the butt to get to work on it. Please don't give up on it.


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